The Blathering: Helm Your Own Soul

@dougbuckinghampastlives on Facebook

Don’t Give Anyone Power Over YOU!

I should be one to talk since I have consistently given my self power over to others. If someone doesn’t like me I am a wreck! I need to find out what I did and try to make it right. I’ve found out that many times you can fix those situations, because they are the result of a misunderstanding or miscommunication. There are times though, where you cannot do anything to fix it and you just have to move on. This happened to me quite recently when a friend of mine was very hurt and lashed out. He was hurt because I was moving on with my life in a positive direction and his negativity was toxic. The thing was, he THOUGHT he was a positive dude, but in reality he was very negative. he’s the guy who always got into huge Facebook battles over politics or anything really. He’s the kind of guy you want on your side if you’re under attack, but make sure you don’t get on his bad side or else. I know he’s been trying to convince other people that I am a bad guy and maybe even trying to get them to not work with me. Well, I think if they believe him, then they don’t know me. (This is a huge revelation for me, by the way)

Folks who know me, know that I do my best to be fair. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing my mess-ups and owning up to them. For example, if I were to show up on set and simply forgot an important piece of equipment, I would be very very apologetic and do everything I could to make it right. I would not be able to live with myself if I jeopardized the project. I’ve worked with some folks who just kind of shrugged it off like it was no biggie. I’d be stewing in my regret and embarrassment. 

I once had another friend who had a big problem with me and it was really messing with me. My wife and I went to a wedding which he attended and it messed with me so much I had to leave early. Why? I put so much stock in the fact that this guy didn’t like me that I let it ruin my evening. He and I are good friends now, but since then I’ve always been mindful of how I allow others to determine my level of happiness. I am currently working very hard to change that.

Friends and family can really affect your happiness if you give them that power. Now, there is nothing wrong with having a good time and feeling happy about it. My point is, you don’t have to let those encounters determine your levels of happiness. When you find out you are being judged for things that you cannot control, you (at least I) want to lash out and defend myself. It’s a waste of energy. Let them think what they want to think.

This blog is called The Blathering because I don’t plan out my posts, I just write from the heart – so it is often aimless. But this is how I feel at this very moment.

I will not allow others to determine my happiness. I am going to put everything into my family, my business and my goal of making Bottom Feeders.

I am saying this to the very people who are saying I can’t do it – you know who you are.


William Ernest Henley1849 – 1903

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.



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